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Short of acquiring a false passport, dressing it in a sharp suit and attempting to just plain walk it through customs, this must surely represent the most audacious monkey-based smuggling attempt ever.
Yes, one daring 100% illegal importer of primates managed to get onboard a flight from Peru to New York via Florida with a marmoset UNDER HIS HAT.
Exactly which type of hat used to conceal the tiny monkey is unclear but we can rule out the possibility of it being a baseball cap.
We believe that the most adequate type of headgear would have been a stovepipe hat, although it remains unclear how a man dressed partly in shrieking, moving 19th century attire failed to arouse the suspicions of airport officials.
Despite his valiant attempt, the smuggler's efforts were thwarted when, to the surprise of his fellow passengers, the marmoset escaped from the (stovepipe?) hat causing them to ask ‘if he knew he had a monkey on him’.
At this point, knowing we were rumbled, we would have declared: “Oh dear God, a monkey!” and disposed of the evidence by flushing it down the toilet, but obviously feeling that ‘it was just going to be his day’, the smuggler allowed the monkey to sit in his lap for the remainder of the flight.
Unsurprisingly, upon arriving in New York, the man was questioned and our intrepid ape was subsequently banged up in quarantine and now faces the prospect of life in a zoo (a zoo is a prison for animals).
The US says it is standing firm on illegal immigrants: Tough on monkeys, tough on the causes of monkeys. Read the full story here
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